I’d like to think I’m not the only one going through this. I know that each and every person have their own cross to carry. Mine happens to be the feeling of living life without purpose.
On the contrary, God has given me the daunting task of being a mother. Yes, it is quite daunting believe it or not (and those who say otherwise must not be telling it like it is,) to raise my children in such a time when society dictates us to toss every sense that is right and let live. Having gone through a phase of living a hedonistic life before my encounter with Jesus Christ, I find it hard to go with the drumbeat especially when I know exactly where it ends. It’s a trip I would avoid a thousand times over.
My problem is my spiritual weakness… I see myself slowly drowning to the world’s whispers of what purpose is supposed to look like. If I truly succumb, it will only lead me to momentary disillusionment since my life resembles nothing close to what the world advertises.
Sigh… To be in the world but not of the world…
I wonder how the Salmon feels when it knows it has to swim upstream…
And yet, amidst this feeling of Je ne sais quoi, God sent a beautiful rare bird outside my window to assure me that sometimes, it is okay to feel stagnant. In a fast paced world, even the hawk (or falcon, whatever this bird is…) finds its way to pause and reflect.