All believers go through a “dark night of the soul.” I’m a believer in Jesus Christ who happens to get bouts of depression and moments of gloom and despair whenever it strikes and yesterday, I got to the point of asking God where He is. This wasn’t a one time question but done in a way where I uttered it out loud repeatedly, in a lamentation kind of way. The worst thing about it was, I tried to immerse myself with materialistic distractions but the more I tried, the worse it got. Earlier during the day, I opened my bible but there were other distracting factors aside from what I mentioned. I can’t elaborate on the nature of my seeming despair, but what I would like to talk about is my amazement at God’s mercy to answer me directly through a pastor’s sermon just before the day ended.
I asked my husband if we could go for a late night drive to get my mind off things and as I was getting ready, I remembered those times when he or I would feel out of sorts, we would go for a quick drive and countless times, God conveyed His message through a word in season from a pastor. For some strange reason, I changed my mind about going for a drive and that I would find out what God was trying to tell me over the radio. I went online to listen to whomever was preaching live on that hour and I’m not kidding nor am I trying to fit this into my situation but the pastor was addressing exactly just what I was crying out to God for on the very same day, Where exactly is God especially when He allows believers to go through a painful process?
Pastor Jack Graham of Powerpoint goes on to say in his message verbatim, “Where is God in this? He is watching… and when we say watching, not watching passively, but passionately. God is watching over us. Proverbs 15 verse 3 says, ‘The eyes of the Lord are in every place watching the evil and good.’ Isn’t it an encouragement to know that while we may lose sight of Jesus, He never loses sight of us. He’s always watching over us.” I had to ask my husband for a second opinion whether this was a direct answer because I myself couldn’t believe how direct it was. Of course the entire message was on point and I truly needed to hear it. I don’t listen to the radio everyday so this was pretty specific.
My decision to stay home instead of going for a late night drive allowed my husband to answer his friend’s phone call to minister to him as I listened halfway into the message. Had we gone out, the exchange would never have occurred. My husband’s friend sporadically calls so it was definitely one of those divine appointments. The conversation was not on speaker phone but I know the backdrop of the guy’s situation and it was God’s reminder for both my husband and I that during times we feel like we’re going through something that warrants throwing in the towel, God has His way of redirecting the focus off our problems by sending someone to minister to, which achieves the twofold purpose of also ministering to yourself.
I was on the dark side of the spectrum yesterday but today, I am armed with another experience which serves as a reminder that no matter how alone and dejected you feel and how grim things might appear, God is not kidding when He says He’s always there. Trials and pruning are a fact of life to gauge where we stand when it comes to our faith in God and although painful, it is always for our benefit. Enduring patiently is something I definitely need to work on, but I live another day, and glad to say on the brighter side.
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.“
Psalm 34:18