I am not exempt from feeling down and depressed and today is definitely one of those days. First off, I think what I’m feeling is possibly weather related because it has been gray and raining ALL week! It sucks!!! I have been wanting to take my kids out to skate. Both of them happened to take interest in skating recently and I am hampered by this dismal weather. So that’s that. My husband wants to move to Seattle (or somewhere up there in the NW) and honestly, with all the rain and my preference for suede, if we do end up there, I know I’m going to be miserable (probably not the first week).
Then there’s this nagging feeling of something I just can’t put my finger into. To quote Rebecca St. James, “I have strength to move a mountain in me,” I have the Holy Spirit and I’m feeling somewhat hopeless. I can only imagine those who do not have that reserve of hope that can be tapped into the moment you wallow in self pity and just feelings of worthlessness. I don’t know exactly what it is I have done that I am getting this kind of spiritual attack. Maybe it’s all in my head but that’s exactly it. We think it’s all in our head but there is an invisible realm where people actually get whispers which they think are thoughts coming from their own head when in fact, it’s from an external source and no, I am not one of those who happen to hear voices, although I can remember going through that one time when I was on something preJesus encounter.
I don’t have a facebook account. I used to and I was the type who posted all kinds of things about my kids, milestones and what not. But I made a deliberate decision to unplug from fakebook because I only get nothing but negativity when I get on it. Sure I can see my family and my friends about where they went to, what they’ve eaten, what I’m missing out (yeah) and everything else, but what got to me was the personal knowledge that some people I knew were going through the roughest times in their lives but still put up a facade of la vie est belle. I mean life is beautiful indeed but we shouldn’t have to pretend we’re okay when we’re hurting. How else can people whom God has equipped to be there during our times of need know our innermost hurts if we hide it? If God somehow told that person to just be with the hurting person, that’s different, but no one is a mind reader unless you’re involved in the occult (which I thought I was at some point in my life, I know I was pretty deluded) but involvement with occultic stuff is definitely abominable to God (Deuteronomy 18:10-11).
I know there are people out there who try to reconcile practicing witchcraft and the occult and still think they can worship God at the same time and one of my preconversion experiences was definitely being convicted that I cannot drink from both the cup of good and evil. I can’t remember the details too much whether it occurred to me in a dream or some sort of an epiphany but it’s just not possible for the fact that being involved in those things can definitely take one away from God and be further deluded through being able to do things other people can’t do which is something that can be pretty addicting.
Anyway, if someone out there is reading this and you are contemplating somehow on tampering with the occult or if you are involved in the occult and still think it is okay with God, you need to make a choice. What is more important to you, God or your craft? I gotta say life won’t be much easier especially when you leave it. You will get depressed and oppressed but if you have given your life to Christ, the Holy Spirit is in you. God will never leave you nor forsake you.
“If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?”
Matthew 16:24-26
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